Autism Potty Training: Our Journey and What I Learned

AutismPlusMe Team
2 days ago
4 min read

A personal story from one parent to another

When my son was diagnosed with autism, our world changed overnight. Like many parents, I felt overwhelmed. There was so much information, so many therapies, and so many questions about the future.

A few weeks later, we met with an occupational therapist. During our first meeting, she asked me a simple question:

"What are the three biggest goals you want to achieve with your son?"

Without hesitation, I answered:

Communication
Better sleep
Potty training

She smiled and gently laughed.

Then she said something that completely surprised me.

"Those are the three goals every family tells me. But we're probably talking about three or four years from now—not right now."

I remember sitting there feeling shocked.

Three or four years?

As a parent, that felt like forever.

At that moment, I realized that this journey would require patience, persistence, and hope.

The Advice That Changed Everything

Around that time, I discovered Mary Barbera, a well-known autism educator whose practical advice inspired me to look at things differently.

One message stayed with me.

She explained that before starting kindergarten or school, three important life skills can make a huge difference:

Being toilet trained
Asking for food or drink
Washing hands independently

When she explained why asking for food is so important, it made perfect sense.

If a child can communicate basic needs like hunger, thirst, or needing the toilet, everyday life becomes much easier—not only for the child but also for teachers, caregivers, and family members.

That advice gave me hope.

Instead of waiting years because someone told me it wasn't the right time, I decided to start working toward potty training.

Our Potty Training Journey

I knew this wasn't something I could do halfway.

So before we started, I made sure I wasn't planning any holidays, moving house, or beginning any major projects.

I wanted to give my son my full attention.

Looking back, this was one of the best decisions I made.

I also chose to use a potty chair first because it felt less intimidating.

If I could go back, I might have introduced the toilet earlier, but every child is different. Some children do very well starting directly with the toilet, while others feel safer beginning with a potty.

There isn't one perfect way.

The most important thing is consistency.

Give Yourself Time

Potty training isn't just about teaching your child.

It's about creating space in your own life for learning together.

Before each day began, I tried to:

Prepare meals in advance.
Finish household chores early.
Keep my schedule as clear as possible.

That way, I could focus completely on my son.

I watched carefully for signs that he needed to wee or poo.

I noticed the times of day he usually went.

I learned his body language.

I celebrated every tiny success.

There Will Be Accidents

Yes...

There will be accidents.

Lots of them.

There will be wet clothes.

There will be messes to clean up.

Some days will feel like no progress is happening at all.

That is completely normal.

Every accident is another learning opportunity.

Stay calm.

Clean up together.

Then try again.

The First Big Milestone

After several months—around three to six months in our case—something wonderful happened.

My son started walking to the bathroom by himself when he needed to wee.

It wasn't perfect.

But it was progress.

And progress is worth celebrating.

The Challenge We Didn't Expect

For many autistic children, learning to wee in the toilet is only half of the journey.

Pooping can be a completely different challenge.

Some children are comfortable urinating in the toilet but continue asking for a diaper or refuse to have a bowel movement on the toilet.

This can happen for many reasons, including sensory differences, anxiety, constipation, fear, or simply because pooping feels very different from weeing.

If this is your family's experience, please know that you are not alone.

Because this topic is so important and deserves more attention than just a few paragraphs I will be writing a dedicated article about poop training, along with a separate visual printable designed specifically to help families through that stage.

One Parent to Another

If you're reading this because you're feeling overwhelmed, I want you to know something.

I have been where you are.

I know how exhausting it can feel.

I know the doubts.

I know the tears.

But I also know the joy of seeing your child achieve something you once thought might never happen.

Every child learns at their own pace.

Don't compare your child to anyone else.

Celebrate every small step.

Because one day, you'll look back and realize just how far you've both come.

Free Potty Training Kit

Help your child learn each toilet step with simple visual supports designed especially for autistic children.

Included in this free download:

✅ Toilet Routine Cards
✅ First–Then Board
✅ Reward Chart
✅ Parent Quick Guide

Download the Free Potty Training Kit

Continue Your Journey

Every child experiences the world in their own unique way, and every family learns along the way.

If this article helped you, you might also enjoy:

Explore Our Free Autism Resources

At AutismPlusMe, we're creating practical guides, visual supports, and free printable resources to make everyday life a little easier one small step at a time.

Our growing resource library includes:

Communication Cards
Morning & Evening Routine Charts
First–Then Boards
Feelings & Emotion Cards
Reward Charts
Potty Training Visual Cards
School Visual Supports

Explore our Free Printables Library

Thank you for being here. We hope AutismPlusMe helps you feel supported, encouraged, and never alone on this journey.

About the Author

This guide was written by a parent who has experienced the challenges of raising an autistic child. At AutismPlusMe, we share practical advice, personal experiences, and free resources to help other families feel supported every step of the way.

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